Blessed are those:)
Today I am so thankful. I am so thankful for today!
I am thankful for friends that care enough to actually care. I am thankful for phone calls and hugs. I am thankful for words of comfort and the fact that so many people have faith in me, hoping that I will do my best as a missionary.
I can be a great missionary. I will be a dedicated missionary. I just have to get there. I have to get to the point where I am physically in the MTC because right now it is hard. Daily, new things pop up. New challenges appear and old challenges come back to hang out together again.
To survive these next nineteen days will be a challenge, yet I have to have faith that it will all be okay. I should be freaking out, it is SO CLOSE, the moment when I will leave my family and friends for a year and a half. Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS.
Its intense and intimidating and nail-biting-hair-pulling-pillow-screaming scary, yet I feel peace. I feel peace because I received two confirmations about different gospel truths over the past few days. Heavenly Father reaffirmed that the atonement is real and that tithing brings blessings to our lives.
ATONEMENT. I gave a 25-minute talk on Sunday about the atonement. Although I learned a lot while reading and preparing, I didn't learn so much from preparing as I did sharing. I shared my experiences with the atonement, I shared my testimony of Jesus Christ's pure love for each one of us. Sharing my thoughts and feelings and appreciation for the atonement reaffirmed to me that Heavenly Father's plan is perfect and it is good.
Giving our Family Home Evening lesson on Monday I was able to share a bit more about the atonement, I focused specifically on Jesus Christ and what it means for me to not want to sin. I remember reading this book called Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites and reading a particular passage where the father talks about not wanting Jesus Christ to suffer any more than he already did.
Jesus Christ suffered for my sins. He suffered my pain. He knows my fears. He is my savior. I don't want him to suffer more just because I chose to make a mistake, just because I chose to choose the easy way or do or say something I regret. I don't want my Savior, THE SAVIOR, to hurt any more than what he already did, I don't want to do that to him. I don't want to do that to me.
TITHING. Lately I have been struggling financially. It is something that is new to me, having to scrimp and save. I have worked full time since I was sixteen and I don't ask for money, I don't ask for help, I don't get in debt. I had been so used to spending what I had when I had it that these past few months of being broke has given me a new perspective on things.
I have learned to be more cautious with my money, more hesitant, something that I have never had to work on before. While my father is off vacationing in Brazil for the next month (yes that was a bitter tone), we are trying to figure out how the child support will indeed support Steven's medical bills, Mami's tuition, three future missionaries out on the field, and years and years of debt. Oh how I hate money. Know what I don't hate? The fact that if I pay my tithing, honestly and happily, it will all be okay.
That is just it. It will be okay. Who cares if I'm wearing hand-me-downs and thrift-store-clothing on the mission, what matters is that they are modest and project the image Heavenly Father needs of me. Who cares if my "new" scriptures read Rebecca Van Tassell on the inscription because we got it for $0.50 at the DI, what matters is that I read it and love it. WHO CARES how difficult things get because I have a Heavenly Father that will provide!!
And provide He has. I have friends that decided to throw me a farewell party where we will charge an entrance fee and sell quesadillas. They found a DJ that will share her talents for free and have already reserved the building. They want to help. What more can a girl ask for than friends and family that love her? I feel so blessed! Broke down crying because I knew then that Heavenly Father will give back one hundred million times over if only we do our part.
Heavenly Father wants me to go on a mission and go I shall. I will go, I will do. I will serve. Heavenly Father I will serve you!!! :D
I am thankful for friends that care enough to actually care. I am thankful for phone calls and hugs. I am thankful for words of comfort and the fact that so many people have faith in me, hoping that I will do my best as a missionary.
I can be a great missionary. I will be a dedicated missionary. I just have to get there. I have to get to the point where I am physically in the MTC because right now it is hard. Daily, new things pop up. New challenges appear and old challenges come back to hang out together again.
To survive these next nineteen days will be a challenge, yet I have to have faith that it will all be okay. I should be freaking out, it is SO CLOSE, the moment when I will leave my family and friends for a year and a half. Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS.
19 DAYS
Its intense and intimidating and nail-biting-hair-pulling-pillow-screaming scary, yet I feel peace. I feel peace because I received two confirmations about different gospel truths over the past few days. Heavenly Father reaffirmed that the atonement is real and that tithing brings blessings to our lives.
ATONEMENT. I gave a 25-minute talk on Sunday about the atonement. Although I learned a lot while reading and preparing, I didn't learn so much from preparing as I did sharing. I shared my experiences with the atonement, I shared my testimony of Jesus Christ's pure love for each one of us. Sharing my thoughts and feelings and appreciation for the atonement reaffirmed to me that Heavenly Father's plan is perfect and it is good.
Giving our Family Home Evening lesson on Monday I was able to share a bit more about the atonement, I focused specifically on Jesus Christ and what it means for me to not want to sin. I remember reading this book called Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites and reading a particular passage where the father talks about not wanting Jesus Christ to suffer any more than he already did.
 |
| The perfect lamb, without blemish, the firstborn, and killed without breaking even a single bone. Just like Jesus the Christ. |
Jesus Christ suffered for my sins. He suffered my pain. He knows my fears. He is my savior. I don't want him to suffer more just because I chose to make a mistake, just because I chose to choose the easy way or do or say something I regret. I don't want my Savior, THE SAVIOR, to hurt any more than what he already did, I don't want to do that to him. I don't want to do that to me.
TITHING. Lately I have been struggling financially. It is something that is new to me, having to scrimp and save. I have worked full time since I was sixteen and I don't ask for money, I don't ask for help, I don't get in debt. I had been so used to spending what I had when I had it that these past few months of being broke has given me a new perspective on things.
 |
| Lately I have felt like this. |
I have learned to be more cautious with my money, more hesitant, something that I have never had to work on before. While my father is off vacationing in Brazil for the next month (yes that was a bitter tone), we are trying to figure out how the child support will indeed support Steven's medical bills, Mami's tuition, three future missionaries out on the field, and years and years of debt. Oh how I hate money. Know what I don't hate? The fact that if I pay my tithing, honestly and happily, it will all be okay.
That is just it. It will be okay. Who cares if I'm wearing hand-me-downs and thrift-store-clothing on the mission, what matters is that they are modest and project the image Heavenly Father needs of me. Who cares if my "new" scriptures read Rebecca Van Tassell on the inscription because we got it for $0.50 at the DI, what matters is that I read it and love it. WHO CARES how difficult things get because I have a Heavenly Father that will provide!!
And provide He has. I have friends that decided to throw me a farewell party where we will charge an entrance fee and sell quesadillas. They found a DJ that will share her talents for free and have already reserved the building. They want to help. What more can a girl ask for than friends and family that love her? I feel so blessed! Broke down crying because I knew then that Heavenly Father will give back one hundred million times over if only we do our part.
Heavenly Father wants me to go on a mission and go I shall. I will go, I will do. I will serve. Heavenly Father I will serve you!!! :D
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