Diana Leaney López Ruano

They lied when they said that the past doesn't define you. Of course it defines you. You are a compilation of all of your pain, all of your difficulties,  all of your trials, all of the mistakes and all of the loss you've experienced up until now. You are also a child of God. For that reason I remember, sitting in an interview with an ecclesiastical leader I was presented with a question that changed the way I see myself.  He said, "What would you be; without the sexual, physical, and emotional abuse that you use as shields...  without the mistakes and fears that you use as masks...  without the racism, judgement and mocking you hold as a torch?  What would be left behind without all of that?" The answer was simple. A daughter of God. To some that may mean nothing.  To me it meant that I was not my pain.  I was simply a person that learned how to love their companion so deeply that I endured the darkest of hells while waking that I coul...

Black tears streaming down a pale face. Mascara drips from the eyes in stinging streaks. Blurred vision behind tinted glasses.   The dark brings blood and together the brick wall shoves and groans. Run. Wipe away the tears and stop. Clear the mess, bleach the blood and drop the rag. i wish i could run away to the place where my dreams welcome reality's troubles, place them in bubbles and send them away to open bliss. i wish. this isn't a starved cry for a glance. nor the pitiful tears of romance. i'm sad, its true. but don't worry i still have you. I have the power of the prophets and the world at my fingertips. I have the laughter and tears from these past eighteen years. So read and leave. I can do it. I still believe.

ever have the need to just scream? to push and shove and get away from it to curl up at night and shriek into your pillow to tighten every muscle and shake and scream I BREATH ever have the urge to just smile? to forget the sideways glances and giggle to catch an eye and remember to be completely content, even for just a moment I HOPE ever have the need to cry? to feel the sting of loss and death to be swallowed by the hole of pain to abandon each hidden tear, until you are dry I HURT ever have the urge to explore? to inspect and examine the contents within to ask and wonder... who? what? where? to sneak and open that locked door I QUESTION ever have the need to run? to pump and sweat and hurt and go to dart and dash and race and run, run away to push, press on and never ever be done I GROW ever have the urge to love? to adore and burn and finally touch to hold and whisper perfect bliss to throw your head back and sing to heavens above I WA...