Diana Leaney López Ruano

My baby nephew Leonel Mateo died before he was two months old. It broke our hearts. When Nephi’s brothers and sisters-in-law lost their father, they “ mourned exceedingly ” and that led them to be angry at God for their sorrows and difficulties.  I’ve been trying to avoid that, but have been acting in the opposite extreme and have been avoiding mourning in general. I wish he didn’t have to leave. I treasured every moment I got to hold him.  Living with my sister and her family meant I got to hold baby Mateo in the precious moments when his parents needed to focus on other things.  Holding him was the purest, simplest joy my soul has felt.  Holding him meant that I was holding purity. Looking into his eyes taught me again and again that we don’t start at birth.  Burying him taught me that we don’t end at death. The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are imperfect and sometimes make stupid mistakes, but we hold on to the knowled...

I keep looking over my shoulder to tell you something, but you are not there. I walk into your room and everything is just how you left it, as if it is waiting for you to come back. I am trying and trying to be happy for you, you just had the best day of your life! but i miss you. My darling older sister, we have gone through so very much together. I enjoy telling people that they messed up in heaven, that we were supposed to be twins. Yet you were sent to this earth 18 months before I and I can't think of anyone who is closer or has been a better example to me. You are starting a new adventure in this life. The greatest one I know. Together you and Sergio will face the world, with our Heavenly Father's guidance. Tita, I miss you already. I know you are only fifteen minutes away, but it feels like we are on different continents. What if I have another nightmare? I know its childish, but you have always been there for me... in the darkest times of my life you have been there. Th...