Diana Leaney López Ruano

I've had a chronic cough since January 2018.  Sometimes my prayers go, "Heavenly Father, please help me breath.  Please, I just want to breath." The first six months of this were suffocating.  I couldn't speak full sentences. I was putting people on mute every few words during calls at work.  I couldn't breath.  I had just started to hear myself laugh and sing again, but breathing is the first step towards laughing and singing so those things stopped.    In Japan I couldn't walk without pain.  My knees would hurt intensely after just thirty seconds of standing so I hobbled through my mission with pain in every step.  When my mission president asked me to extend my mission an extra month I looked down at my knee-braces as I tightrope-walked the curb of the sidewalk and immediately said yes.  My prayers changed at that point.  Instead of asking Heavenly Father to heal me I said, "If Thou knowest that I can serve Thee without legs...

I hadn't written much over the past two years because I didn't want what I was living to be documented.  Or rather,  I could have documented it and gone to the police,  but I didn't.  I just left. A lot of you know what happened,  some through the grapevine and some from the original sources.  Basically,  I was in an abusive relationship and now I am in a happy one. August 2016.  An empty shell with long sleeves and a scarf to cover the bruises,  I walked into the University of Utah's Counseling Center.  I knew I needed to get help.  I was ready to end the pain at any cost,  so I filled out the questionnaire.  I was on the life or death end of severe situational depression.  She asked, "What reasons do you have to stay alive?"   I said, "Bella."   She asked, "Who can help you stay alive?"   I said, "Lauren."   She made me pinky promise that I wouldn't kill myself over the weekend and I held ...

Jeremy Barker.   Cancer .  February 25,  2009 Francisco López.   Cancer .  June 10,  2009 Tommy Moderno.   Suicide .  April 15,  2014 Francisco Garcia.   Cancer .  September 20,  2016 Of death,  loss,  pain and tears we have all had our fair share.  We have lost.  We have sinned.  We have been broken,  beaten,  and brought down to the deepest of despairs.  We have cried. Oh how we have cried.   Each year our trials increase in fierceness.  Each year we see the outcome of our actions.  Each year we see The Lord's hand in our lives and each year we face trials anew. THIS IS US!!!  Trying our hardest to walk tall each day.  Trying our best to move forward and overcome our pain yet sometimes,  all we can do is call our moms and tell them everything that sucks about life.  Sometimes all we can do is receive a hug,  s...