Leonel Mateo
My baby nephew Leonel Mateo died before he was two months old.
It broke our hearts.
When Nephi’s brothers and sisters-in-law lost their father, they “mourned exceedingly” and that led them to be angry at God for their sorrows and difficulties. I’ve been trying to avoid that, but have been acting in the opposite extreme and have been avoiding mourning in general.
I wish he didn’t have to leave.
I treasured every moment I got to hold him. Living with my sister and her family meant I got to hold baby Mateo in the precious moments when his parents needed to focus on other things. Holding him was the purest, simplest joy my soul has felt. Holding him meant that I was holding purity.
Looking into his eyes taught me again and again that we don’t start at birth. Burying him taught me that we don’t end at death.
The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are imperfect and sometimes make stupid mistakes, but we hold on to the knowledge that FAMILIES ARE FOREVER and try to be worthy of eternal life with our loved ones. I love my family. I don’t want to imagine eternity without a single one of my tios, primos, siblings, parents, grandparents, or you. I don’t want to miss you then like I am missing Mateo now.
I will see my angel nephew again. Right now he is probably playing futbol with Tio Paco, having deep discussions with Jeremy, and helping his great-grandfather change his heart. Right now he is in the presence of my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ who was the perfect sacrifice for my sins and is the only way to come back home.
During the darkest valley of being abused I wanted nothing more than to die and end the pain. Now I want nothing more than to live a more perfect life so that I can be worthy to watch my nephew grow up in the Millenium. My sister and brother-in-law are patient parents and they will get to pick right back up where they started, teach him the way to eternity, and simply be with their son again.
I am sad, but I am hopeful. I’m sure I’ll still tear up when I see or hear things that remind me of him, but I also tear up in the temple when I am reminded of how thin the veil is. Eternity is now, we are creating it, we are eternal.
Now it’s time to make the decision. I choose to repent. I choose to change. I choose to try again and again no matter how many times I fail because I want my family to be forever. I want to be with every one of you in heaven. I want to see my baby nephew again and it is completely possible through Jesus Christ.
It is true. I know it is.
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
It broke our hearts.
When Nephi’s brothers and sisters-in-law lost their father, they “mourned exceedingly” and that led them to be angry at God for their sorrows and difficulties. I’ve been trying to avoid that, but have been acting in the opposite extreme and have been avoiding mourning in general.
I wish he didn’t have to leave.
I treasured every moment I got to hold him. Living with my sister and her family meant I got to hold baby Mateo in the precious moments when his parents needed to focus on other things. Holding him was the purest, simplest joy my soul has felt. Holding him meant that I was holding purity.
Looking into his eyes taught me again and again that we don’t start at birth. Burying him taught me that we don’t end at death.
The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are imperfect and sometimes make stupid mistakes, but we hold on to the knowledge that FAMILIES ARE FOREVER and try to be worthy of eternal life with our loved ones. I love my family. I don’t want to imagine eternity without a single one of my tios, primos, siblings, parents, grandparents, or you. I don’t want to miss you then like I am missing Mateo now.
I will see my angel nephew again. Right now he is probably playing futbol with Tio Paco, having deep discussions with Jeremy, and helping his great-grandfather change his heart. Right now he is in the presence of my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ who was the perfect sacrifice for my sins and is the only way to come back home.
During the darkest valley of being abused I wanted nothing more than to die and end the pain. Now I want nothing more than to live a more perfect life so that I can be worthy to watch my nephew grow up in the Millenium. My sister and brother-in-law are patient parents and they will get to pick right back up where they started, teach him the way to eternity, and simply be with their son again.
I am sad, but I am hopeful. I’m sure I’ll still tear up when I see or hear things that remind me of him, but I also tear up in the temple when I am reminded of how thin the veil is. Eternity is now, we are creating it, we are eternal.
Now it’s time to make the decision. I choose to repent. I choose to change. I choose to try again and again no matter how many times I fail because I want my family to be forever. I want to be with every one of you in heaven. I want to see my baby nephew again and it is completely possible through Jesus Christ.
It is true. I know it is.
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
Comments
Post a Comment