Diana Leaney López Ruano

I never did my Personal Progress as a Young Woman.  I graduated at 16 and didn't think a grown-up college student needed a medallion to put a label on her progression. I was sooooooo smart back then,  and yet it has taken me these six years since graduating to finally discover the most important fact I could learn.  The fact that I am a Daughter of God.  If I could go back to little me and give myself one piece of knowledge it would be that-  the surety that comes with knowing who I am,  where I came from,  and where I am going. I wish I could give you the same knowledge.  I wish I could wrap my arms around you and somehow have you feel absence of a once existing pain that has been healed by our Father through our Savior.  I wish I could make you realize that He is real.  He is there for you.  He loves you.  He will guide you.  You are His Daughter!  If there was some way to help you see that you deserve everything this world has to offer and more. You deserve to be loved.  Y

On Sunday,  August 12, 2013 we watched Elder Bednar's talk: The Character of Christ  in the MTC.  He invited all to start reading The Book of Mormon whilst studying a certain topic and focusing on that topic only.  After reading the whole book and learning about that subject specifically,  he asked us to write a summary about what we learned.  I just finished reading about my selected topic,  The Atonement of Jesus Christ.   Who. Moroni 8:8 States that Christ is not here to bring the saints unto repentance,  but the sinners.  Who are the sinners?  Us.  Those of us who are trying to move forward,  but are stuck without the bridge between mortality and eternal life,  Jesus Christ.   And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. (Luke 5:31)   We are all a little bit broken inside.  We are all in need of our Physician,  our Savior,  our Older Brother Jesus Christ. What. The Atonement is the real power of the Savior o

August 7, 2013 Day one of the mission.  Overwhelming.  Inspiring.  Motivating..  Humbling.   Said goodbye to the familia,  didn't cry.  Its 10:25 and I'm exhausted-  too tired to really process the change,  but I'm sure it will hit.  Me siento motivada para trabajar duro.  So much to learn.  One thing is certain,  I love my companion.   August 8, 2013 My companion sings Enchanted randomly.  I love her.  Watashi wa Feist Shimai ai shimashte.   This has been slightly easier than expected-  only cried for 10 minutes last night.  My love for my District is growing and [so is] my desire to repent from all of the wrong,  to change my actions,  to change the way I think and make sure that everything is centered on Christ and sharing that message through me.   The language is hard.  My pronunciation is fine,  but memorizing words and understanding grammar is a challenge-  we have our first lesson in Japanese tomorrow .   Heavenly Father.  I'm sorry for

I need to finish this assignment. I need to pay off my loans. I need to study my scriptures. I need to fix my failing relationships. I need to work harder. I need to be a better example.   I need to change. I need.   I need.   I need.   I need my Savior .   I need more faith .   I need to act on what I know to be true.   I need my heart to be more patient,  more loving,  more kind. The entire world is watching.  All of human race is judging.   My whole family is questioning and yet I sit still.    Fear surpasses the problem solving abilities I was never taught.  How do you fix something if you were raised on broken pieces of the past? I have never known what it means to be without the problems I have never fixed.  Without them,  my friends Lack and Stress,  who would be left behind?  Who am I without my companion Fear?  Fear has been such a good companion to me.  Making me jump when touched unexpectedly.  Who am I without my acquaintance Doubt?  Doubting has been

In the Japanese language there is no future tense.  To ask about the future,  one would say something along the lines of "From this time after,  where are you currently going?"  The respondee will then answer with what they will do after the current time. In the Mandarin Chinese language,  there is no future or past tense.  When I introduce myself to a Chinese person I usually say a translation of "I am an English teacher at China."   Obviously we are not in China at the moment so to make the statement true,  a past or present time frame must be inferred. How would we speak if we had no future or past? If we did not know who we are becoming or where we came from? If we all hustled around in right now , not then , or when  we would simply be ;  culture and history-  it would all cease to be.  What if we had no means to change our ways;  if we were permanently stuck in our current decisions,  without a chance of leaving the past and starting a new day? I h

She showed me a new cut on her already scarred,  rough,  and beat up hand. It was deep and infected.  Not because a dirty weapon ripped her flesh,  but because she always seemed to find herself too busy to stop and disinfect the gash. "I like your hands."  I said to her. She didn't listen. "If I had your hands it would mean that I know how to do things."  I said to her. She didn't listen. Instead,  she wished aloud for prettier hands,  delicate hands.  She yearned for a manicure that would dissolve the need to work her hands to the bone in order to provide for her family.  Instead, she got Bella's five-year-old five fingers adding five layers of whatever nail polish colors picked her fancy.   Pink.  Blue.  Shiny.  Purple.  More pink. One thing is certain-  my mother's multi-colored manicured hands can do anything. Her hands alter clothes.  Her hands bake and decorate cakes.  Her hands work power tools.  Her hands build,  paint,  tickle,

I wonder if Jesus Christ ever fell in love. I wonder if once upon a time there was a little Jewish girl that broke His heart because Jesus would rather spend time in the temple discussing with the educated instead of playing outside with the other kids. He is The Son of God,  that is a fact.  I just wonder... if He ever fell down and needed the man that raised Him to take His hand,  lift Him up,  and dust off the wood chips from His shins. I wonder what Jesus Christ thinks each time I fall in love.  I wonder if He smiles to Himself and shakes His head thinking,   "I know,  I know.  Just try again nena,  you'll get it eventually."  I wonder if He constantly sees me as the weak child that I am,  or if every so often He looks past my mistakes to the woman I may become through His Atonement. I wonder if I'll ever make it.  I wonder if I'll ever be more than this-  worldly,  pathetic,  vain,  lost.  I wonder just how often my frailties will stand in my way. I

Intelligent people discussing intelligent things. "What I'm saying is..." "They should have..." "The problem is..." The problem is that everyone speaks without saying anything. Different opinions. Different languages. Different demographics. Everyone trying to prove to the other that they think and are different. Arms crossed,   "I am sure,  I am powerful." Legs crossed,   "I am comfortable and will defend." Fingers crossed,  "I am loud,  therefore I am right." Louder.  Show them that you are unafraid. Louder.  Make them understand your truth. Louder!  They can't hear you over your actions. Listen,  for everything depends on us learning from the other. The louder they yell,  the harder it is to hear their hearts. The more they post,  the more they blog,  the more they share. The more we will hear intelligent people discussing intelligent things.

Hola nena,  it's been a while!  Just looking back on when we used to think that Heavenly Father painted each mountain and sunset every single day,  remember that?  Remember when we would skip instead of walk because it got us to our destinations faster?  Remember flying off to faraway magical lands whose entrance was only attainable through the highest jump on our trampoline?  Remember reading about the outside world and wondering what it would be like once we grew up? I'm still trying to figure that part out.  Growing up.  Let me tell you that the real world is different than our books,  yet exactly the same.  There are bad guys out there and maybe they don't steal away princesses,  but opposition is real and there will be those that want to steal our true identity as a Daughter of God.  Heavenly Father might not get out a paintbrush every day,  but He orchestrates our lives in the most beautiful of connections and happenstances. I wish I could tell you the answers of

Let her be your everything. The reason you wake. The reason you work. The reason you give. The reason you live. Let her take you,  enfold you,  surround you with bliss. The warmth coming from within that is really just her voice. The smile on your lips as you drive,  unaware of its existence.   The reason you walk with confidence towards the future that is together. Let her be the word that describes the chorus of heaven's angels. Let her take the butterflies in your stomach and release them into your own private neverland. Let her bring you happiness in the shape of her finger wrapped in a band of forever. Let her be your everything. Love her.

Jeremy Barker.   Cancer .  February 25,  2009 Francisco López.   Cancer .  June 10,  2009 Tommy Moderno.   Suicide .  April 15,  2014 Francisco Garcia.   Cancer .  September 20,  2016 Of death,  loss,  pain and tears we have all had our fair share.  We have lost.  We have sinned.  We have been broken,  beaten,  and brought down to the deepest of despairs.  We have cried. Oh how we have cried.   Each year our trials increase in fierceness.  Each year we see the outcome of our actions.  Each year we see The Lord's hand in our lives and each year we face trials anew. THIS IS US!!!  Trying our hardest to walk tall each day.  Trying our best to move forward and overcome our pain yet sometimes,  all we can do is call our moms and tell them everything that sucks about life.  Sometimes all we can do is receive a hug,  shed a tear,  and move on.  That is where the beauty of this mortal life lies. We can move on.   We can progress!  When we fall,  we can stan

I didn't see anyone in purple yesterday. Granted,  we were at a Stake Center instead of the Conference Center,  but that's just it isn't it?  I wasn't in China or Japan,  not in Mexico or Guatemala-  I was in Kearns with four of my sisters.  As other women gathered with their mothers,  aunts,  friends,  cousins,   sisters all over the world-    we were united.   We are sisters.  We are God's Daughters. Somos hijas de un Padre Celestial que nos ama y nosotras lo amamos a Él. わたしたちは天父の娘です.天父はわたしたちを愛し,わたしたちも天父を愛しています。 We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. 我们是天父的女儿。天父爱我们，我们也爱天父。 A daughter in His Kingdom...  Precious.  Faithful.  Beloved.   I used to not know what it meant to be a "Daughter of God".  I didn't know what they meant when they talked about "divinity".  I didn't know what my potential as a virtuous woman could actually be.  I didn't know what my precious power was,  so

So I'm back in Utah. Seems like a pattern.  Leave for a China,  come back.  Leave for Japan,  and then come back again.  Always saying goodbye.  Not being able to make long term decisions because my life isn't permanently stationed in one place for more than a year. I am home so that I can fix things.  Fix my self physically,  mentally,  emotionally,  everything.  I'm here to make myself better so that I could serve my Father in Heaven,  so that I could serve my brothers and sisters in Japan with all of my heart,  might,  mind,  and strength. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  The confused looks in my siblings eyes as we met in the airport.  I've discovered what it means to truly be loved.  They love me even though I felt I let them down.  I've always tried to be a hard working example for others and that is the real reason why I'm back. I'm back because I know that I'm supposed to be in Utah.  I know that Heavenly Father loves m