Diana Leaney López Ruano

i'd imagine that getting your heart ripped out by an angry bear would feel something like this. like a stab, not straight through your heart...but your very core. upwards all the way through each organ and vein. ohh, the pain. it weakens me. slowly draining away...hope drips down my fingers...longing sliding down my leg...all my dreams leave. yet somehow i still breath. i thought death would come swiftly. figured there was nothing left for me here. since i couldn't have you...surely, surely life would not be so cruel as to keep me here. yet somehow i'm still breathing. s o m e h o w i a m s t i l l b r e a t h i n g

Public Friends of Friends Friends Friends except Acquaintances Only Me Custom Close Friends La Region See all lists... Family CoWorkers Zhuzhou Area Hunter High School Salt Lake Community College Salt Lake Community College The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints The University of Utah Creative Woodworks, Inc. Acquaintances Go Back random IM conversation w/ my buddy Andres! ANDY: so im writing but im kinda stuck wanna help? ME: go for it- ANDY: it's close to a new day and this one was pretty much like the one before and nothing new like the week before going thru the motions going thru the days like life was eternal forgetting that everyday gets me closer to the end.. and im just waiting for you to put the spice the difference in this endless circle called life am i ready? who knows we'll see ME: we'll see where i go, what i do, when we'll be we'll just see when there is color, i n this great grey sea ANDY: i l

and then i saw it. *a hint of the past* a glimmer, a gleam, a glint of a something . . . * something? no, it couldn't be... because when i saw it, you were looking at me . maybe maybe -how still time seemed- but there is no way that could mean anything. nothing. no. negative captain. moving on. nothing to see here. i'll just keep on living, trying not to look again. trying not to see the nothing/something that maybe wasn't even there. maybe?

she ran to me. to my arms. wrapped her arms around my neck and shed a tear on my shoulder. when were the roles switched? i didn't receive a new script. no one gave my lines to follow or advice on how to become the provider, the caregiver. I was not sent to hair and make-up. Not even a heads-up, "hey, get your act together because we need more from you than what you can give" hey, your dad is leaving on september 15th... hey, your brothers and sisters are going to act out and cause utter mayhem..... hey, your going to fail all your classes....... hey, your going to be alone......... hey, your mom is going to need your shoulder to cry on........... hey, hey you. wake up and smell the roses because life sucks. ps: the roses are fake. ps. this sucks.