Space Ranger.
Time. Time passes and you find yourself in a different situation with each blink of an eye.
Years. Years have gone by since I had my 'plan'. Back when I thought I knew how my life was going to pan out. Back when I thought I knew it all.
Space. Space grows. Space grows between old friendships. Space spreads far and wide and sooner than not you find yourself on the other side of the world, away from your loved ones, away from everything you knew.
My father has this Brazilian girlfriend, I guess he found her on the internet or something. He plans on marrying this woman, I wonder how well their Portuguese-Spanish conversations go. I wonder if she understands who that man is. Maybe that's why he flew down to visit her instead of buying Christmas presents. Maybe she's the reason why he refuses to help me when I tell him I owe the IRS $800 plus, when I asked for help to go visit my sister whom I haven't seen since before I left for China, maybe she's the reason he changes face at the flip of a coin. Maybe they will get married. Maybe they will be happy. Whoever she is, I wonder if she knows the kind of man I know him to be.
Or maybe he's changed. I sure have. I changed from child to provider. I changed from needing to relying on no one. Not a single soul. For who is there to trust if the one man that should be constant, is not?
Ohh daddy issues. A leading cause in bad decisions and douchebag boyfriends.
I wasn't like this in the past. I used to trust. I used to be so sure of who I was that I thought myself better than others. Ohh how the tables have turned. Looking back on the sheer blindness that is high school, I wonder, What the hell was I thinking? Each year brings in a few more eye rolls. Ay Dianita, why?
They say that the trials start piling up as soon as you get your mission call. Today was a trial. Today. Today I cried. Today I needed a fathers hug and a reassurance that things would work out and what did I receive but excuses. That is why I must give my Heavenly Father my all. I would be nowhere without His guidance and His peace. I can only hope that I can share with my brothers and sisters in Tokyo that His love is greater. His love is all that we need.
Years. Years have gone by since I had my 'plan'. Back when I thought I knew how my life was going to pan out. Back when I thought I knew it all.
Space. Space grows. Space grows between old friendships. Space spreads far and wide and sooner than not you find yourself on the other side of the world, away from your loved ones, away from everything you knew.
My father has this Brazilian girlfriend, I guess he found her on the internet or something. He plans on marrying this woman, I wonder how well their Portuguese-Spanish conversations go. I wonder if she understands who that man is. Maybe that's why he flew down to visit her instead of buying Christmas presents. Maybe she's the reason why he refuses to help me when I tell him I owe the IRS $800 plus, when I asked for help to go visit my sister whom I haven't seen since before I left for China, maybe she's the reason he changes face at the flip of a coin. Maybe they will get married. Maybe they will be happy. Whoever she is, I wonder if she knows the kind of man I know him to be.
Or maybe he's changed. I sure have. I changed from child to provider. I changed from needing to relying on no one. Not a single soul. For who is there to trust if the one man that should be constant, is not?
Ohh daddy issues. A leading cause in bad decisions and douchebag boyfriends.
I wasn't like this in the past. I used to trust. I used to be so sure of who I was that I thought myself better than others. Ohh how the tables have turned. Looking back on the sheer blindness that is high school, I wonder, What the hell was I thinking? Each year brings in a few more eye rolls. Ay Dianita, why?
They say that the trials start piling up as soon as you get your mission call. Today was a trial. Today. Today I cried. Today I needed a fathers hug and a reassurance that things would work out and what did I receive but excuses. That is why I must give my Heavenly Father my all. I would be nowhere without His guidance and His peace. I can only hope that I can share with my brothers and sisters in Tokyo that His love is greater. His love is all that we need.
Comments
Post a Comment