My Desire to Stay.

There was this moment,  in Japan.  The hardest of moments when I turned to my Heavenly Father for love and guidance.  I turned to the Priesthood Power, a blessing.  Afterwards,  the Elder said to me,  

"Sister López,  I just saw all of the times your plans have not gone according to plan."  

All the times I have tried to do what is right, to change, to follow the plan Heavenly Father has set for me and

failed miserably.  

A patriarchal blessing is a blessing from God given to someone when they are ready to listen to Heavenly Father's plan and potential blessings for them specifically.  I read mine today and got stuck at the part after my full-time missionary service.  My college life was always focused on going on a mission and for six months,  returning to finish my missionary service.  Things are different now.  Now,  

I am here to stay.  

Utah.  The place I want to raise my family.  The mountains that brought me to tears by their magnificent splendor just this afternoon.  Utah.  The place I come back to,  always.  Utah.  

my home.

This time I turned to my mother's loving guidance for help.  What do I do?  Is the plan ruined?  How do I know if this decision is right or wrong?  Mother,  please.  Tell me things will work out right,  

despite my errors.  

My errors.  The ones that have made my straight and narrow path more of the loopy cursive my grandmother signs her art with.  My repentance.  The changes I make daily that help me stand taller,  truer,  with more love for God then I ever thought imaginable.  He loves me.  He loves me.  If there is one thing I know,  it is that Heavenly Father's love is so great,  it even surpasses even the love of my mother.  She gives everything for us,  her children.
Heavenly Father gives us everything perfectly and,  He gave us 

His perfect Son.  

I wake up in the morning and pray.  I pray to the God of Abraham,  the God of Issac.  I pray to He who knows my debilities and gave me a way to overcome them through His Son,  Jesus Christ.  Jehova.  

The Light.    

“Of the Living Christ, the Prophet Joseph wrote: ‘His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah, saying:

“ ‘I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father’ (D&C 110:3-4) The Living Christ

My advocate is The Light that shines against the darkness.  My mother says that satan knows her particularly preferred type of chocolate.  She looooves chocolate.  He in turn will always offer me my own particularly preferred type of sin.  That is where my choice lies.  That is when I remember why I keep the commandments of God in the first place.   Why the Gospel of Jesus Christ 

applies to ME specifically.  

I prefer ice cream to chocolate,  but it gives me a tummy ache.  

I know God lives.  I know He has a plan for me.  I know He loves me and my family.  I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ,  I can overcome my deep desire for ice cream.  I know that His plan is better and that is why I endure.  Not because I am perfect,  not because others expect me to be,  but because through repentance and change,  I can live with my family for eternity.

Sometimes I mess up and things don't go according to plan,  but tomorrow,   

I will be a better me.


<3