Invinciblity comes with a price.
I need to finish this assignment.
I need to pay off my loans.
I need to study my scriptures.
I need to fix my failing relationships.
I need to work harder.
I need to be a better example.
I need to change.
I need.
I need.
I need.
I need my Savior.
I need more faith.
I need to act on what I know to be true.
I need my heart to be more patient, more loving, more kind.
The entire world is watching. All of human race is judging. My whole family is questioning and yet I sit still.
Fear surpasses the problem solving abilities I was never taught. How do you fix something if you were raised on broken pieces of the past? I have never known what it means to be without the problems I have never fixed. Without them, my friends Lack and Stress, who would be left behind?
Who am I without my companion Fear? Fear has been such a good companion to me. Making me jump when touched unexpectedly. Who am I without my acquaintance Doubt? Doubting has been welcome in my heart for as long as possibilities have been around. Who am I without my partners Sin and Sorrows? They have shaped me into who I am today, how could I betray them by leaving them behind? Without my friends and their influences, what is left of me?
What is me if not the broken pieces that refuse to fuse? What does my voice sound like if not hinted with the sound of complaint or defense? How does my hair style if it is not pulled into a knot to get rid of the suffocation and allow me to breath? What does my stomach look like if it is not filled with ground up attempts to calm my pounding heart? What is my smile without the rosy tint of masking words that no one should hear aloud? What does my mind think if not of problems? What do my hands do but write of them? What am I do do if not dwell on doubting possibilities?
How do I change if this is all I know?
We are immortal beings living in a mortal world. There is an Almighty Creator that loves. There is a plan. There is a PLAN. There IS a plan. THERE IS A PLAN! If there is a God that loves me (which He does). And if there is an Eternal Plan of Happiness (which there is). If we are designed to become Gods and Goddesses (which we are). Then why do I refuse to see?
I've seen miracles. So why don't I feel invincible?
I've been a part of seemingly impossible feats. So why do I stop myself from progressing?
I have seen God's love towards His children. So why do I hate who is in the mirror?
Round and around. Ceaseless colorful circles spiraling, willing me to get lost in my mistakes and downfalls. Willing me to want to hurt myself in every way because Satan is not my friend, my failure brings pleasure to him. Friends don't let friends forget who they truly are.
Friends understand.
Friends help.
Friends uplift.
Friends listen.
Jesus the Christ is my friend.
We never played jump rope or made mud pies, but He was there for me when I was all alone in a foreign country. We never text or IM, but He speaks to me through my friends and lets me know He is there. We have never gone dancing together or to eat tacos afterwards, but in my darkest days He gives me strength to endure. I never invite Him out to a barbecue or ask for His help on an assignment, but I've trusted in Him my heart, my troubles, my deepest most dangerous thoughts and He listens as my best friend. My best friend and my Savior.
If there is one thing I know to be true, it is that people can change through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I do not know how to solve my problems for they are the hardest things I have had to deal with, and next year there will be even more difficult ones to overcome. However, I do know that through His peaceful power, I can have the strength to step blindly forward and try. I am trying.
Father, I am trying and right now this is all that I can give. Take my weak heart and desires, take my in-competencies and shortcomings, take ME and shape me into who thou wouldst have me be. I am giving myself to thee, every day for the rest of eternity.
Help me for I am weak.
I need to pay off my loans.
I need to study my scriptures.
I need to fix my failing relationships.
I need to work harder.
I need to be a better example.
I need to change.
I need.
I need.
I need.
I need my Savior.
I need more faith.
I need to act on what I know to be true.
I need my heart to be more patient, more loving, more kind.
The entire world is watching. All of human race is judging. My whole family is questioning and yet I sit still.
Fear surpasses the problem solving abilities I was never taught. How do you fix something if you were raised on broken pieces of the past? I have never known what it means to be without the problems I have never fixed. Without them, my friends Lack and Stress, who would be left behind?
Who am I without my companion Fear? Fear has been such a good companion to me. Making me jump when touched unexpectedly. Who am I without my acquaintance Doubt? Doubting has been welcome in my heart for as long as possibilities have been around. Who am I without my partners Sin and Sorrows? They have shaped me into who I am today, how could I betray them by leaving them behind? Without my friends and their influences, what is left of me?
What is me if not the broken pieces that refuse to fuse? What does my voice sound like if not hinted with the sound of complaint or defense? How does my hair style if it is not pulled into a knot to get rid of the suffocation and allow me to breath? What does my stomach look like if it is not filled with ground up attempts to calm my pounding heart? What is my smile without the rosy tint of masking words that no one should hear aloud? What does my mind think if not of problems? What do my hands do but write of them? What am I do do if not dwell on doubting possibilities?
How do I change if this is all I know?
We are immortal beings living in a mortal world. There is an Almighty Creator that loves. There is a plan. There is a PLAN. There IS a plan. THERE IS A PLAN! If there is a God that loves me (which He does). And if there is an Eternal Plan of Happiness (which there is). If we are designed to become Gods and Goddesses (which we are). Then why do I refuse to see?
I've seen miracles. So why don't I feel invincible?
I've been a part of seemingly impossible feats. So why do I stop myself from progressing?
I have seen God's love towards His children. So why do I hate who is in the mirror?
Round and around. Ceaseless colorful circles spiraling, willing me to get lost in my mistakes and downfalls. Willing me to want to hurt myself in every way because Satan is not my friend, my failure brings pleasure to him. Friends don't let friends forget who they truly are.
Friends understand.
Friends help.
Friends uplift.
Friends listen.
Jesus the Christ is my friend.
We never played jump rope or made mud pies, but He was there for me when I was all alone in a foreign country. We never text or IM, but He speaks to me through my friends and lets me know He is there. We have never gone dancing together or to eat tacos afterwards, but in my darkest days He gives me strength to endure. I never invite Him out to a barbecue or ask for His help on an assignment, but I've trusted in Him my heart, my troubles, my deepest most dangerous thoughts and He listens as my best friend. My best friend and my Savior.
If there is one thing I know to be true, it is that people can change through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I do not know how to solve my problems for they are the hardest things I have had to deal with, and next year there will be even more difficult ones to overcome. However, I do know that through His peaceful power, I can have the strength to step blindly forward and try. I am trying.
Father, I am trying and right now this is all that I can give. Take my weak heart and desires, take my in-competencies and shortcomings, take ME and shape me into who thou wouldst have me be. I am giving myself to thee, every day for the rest of eternity.
Help me for I am weak.
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