I wonder if Jesus Christ ever fell in love.

I wonder if Jesus Christ ever fell in love.

I wonder if once upon a time there was a little Jewish girl that broke His heart because Jesus would rather spend time in the temple discussing with the educated instead of playing outside with the other kids.

He is The Son of God,  that is a fact.  I just wonder... if He ever fell down and needed the man that raised Him to take His hand,  lift Him up,  and dust off the wood chips from His shins.

I wonder what Jesus Christ thinks each time I fall in love.  I wonder if He smiles to Himself and shakes His head thinking,  "I know,  I know.  Just try again nena,  you'll get it eventually."  I wonder if He constantly sees me as the weak child that I am,  or if every so often He looks past my mistakes to the woman I may become through His Atonement.

I wonder if I'll ever make it.  I wonder if I'll ever be more than this-  worldly,  pathetic,  vain,  lost.  I wonder just how often my frailties will stand in my way.

I wonder when I will stop being a hypocrite.

"There is a difference between being a Hypocrite with a capital H and a hypocrite with a small h." said my institute teacher today.

A Hypocrite is one who knowingly misrepresents themselves as a Disciple of Christ,  when their actions blatantly state otherwise.

A hypocrite,  on the other hand is one who is constantly trying to be a Disciple of Christ,  but constantly fails at doing so.  Thusly,  they represent themselves as Disciples of Christ,  but do not fully fit the requirements of such.

I AM A HYPOCRITE and just  as President Uchtdorf said,  SO ARE YOU.  We all fall short.  We know who it is that we are supposed to be,  what we are supposed to do,  where we are supposed to go,  but somehow we just act the part instead of being.

Sometimes,  I read because I'm supposed to.   Sometimes I read because I feel I need to.  Sometimes I read because it is all I can do but to try and understand Father's plan for me.  Sometimes,  I smile because I'm supposed to.  Sometimes,  I smile because I feel the need to do so.  Sometimes,  I smile because it is all I can do but to feel Heavenly Father's love for me and all of His children.

I wonder if being a hypocrite isn't such a bad thing after all.

I wonder if I keep pretending to be the person I want to be,  I might come closer to being instead of acting.

I wonder if Jesus Christ ever stopped falling in love.  He loved His mother.  He loved His Disciples.  He loved the poor,  the harlots,  the lame,  the meek,  the lepers.  He loved me.  He loved you.  He loved us enough to give everything He possibly could.  And so I'll do the same.

I'll keep being a hypocrite,  hoping that one day I'll fall in love like Jesus Christ.



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